'Weener

Hey hey 'Redheads... Blogtober is just about dried up and ready to fall off the babbling tree, so this'll most likely the last chance to squeeze in some mediocre bloggage. And away we go. Big thanks to the fine folks at the DC Improv for an amazing show in the Comedy Lounge. I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with some of DC's finest, Nora Nolan, John McBride, Joe Robinson, and Erik Myers. Great sets and good times were had by all. I did something that went slightly against type for me...I gave some untested topical material a whirl. I know, be still your beating hearts, but I rarely go off-script without testing the punchlines with a control group and a placebo. I took some of the flat, two dimensional words from the last blog, and inflated them into out loud jokes with appropriate pauses. These specifically...

I have some problems with McCain, which are purely superficial, but that's how I roll. First, he says "Warshington". Learn to pronounce it first, then maybe we'll let you live there. Also, he whistles his esses when he talks...irks the everloving crap out of me. When I close my eyes, Obama sounds presidential...McCain sounds like a cartoon squirrel. And have you seen Cindy McCain? She creeps me right the fuck out.

Obviously, I couldn't use the pictures to illustrate Cindy McCain's inherent creepiness on stage, so I came up with this verbal substitute...

She looks like someone spackled the Crypt Keeper.

The audio is up on my MySpace page, if you'd like the audio book version. After the show, some friends and I adjourned to the nearby Melting Pot to go wade in a chocolate jacuzzi. Everything tastes better dipped in lukewarm chocolate. The table conversation drops off a bit when the dipping is going on. It gets limited to the phrases "Wow, this is delicious", "Holy crap this is good", and "Someone pull Jared's face out of the fondue pot." The fondue magic was sullied toward the end of the evening, when I looked down to see two cockroaches scurry across the floor...they were delicious. The conversation turned to city vermin which eventually led to rats. The following sentence was then uttered by a young lady at our table, "Let me tell you how disgusting rats are. So, I was taking a piss in this alley in Boston..." She kinda trailed off when the rest of the table stared at her with our heads tilted slightly. Take your time and let it sink in. While you're at it, riddle me this. What's wrong with this item...?


Make sure to congratulate this young couple. Apparently, they have a time machine on their gift registry.

Wells-Fargo recently bought ailing bank, Wachovia. They'll be opening a new bank called Well-Fachovia. I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff.

Here's one last bit of political video before we yank the levers on Tuesday...a blast from the roughly 8 years past...

Enjoy your 'ween...