No Animals Were Harmed...
Hey there 'Redheads... It's Friday night, and what better way to kickstart the weekend than sit here in my boxers and type out a quick blog, while my Chipotle steak fajita burrito prepares to reenact the escape scene from Shawshank Redemption? That's right, there is no better way. So, I don't know if you caught this banner headline, but President Obama finally got tired of all the buzz around him...
After the interview, President Obama won the All Valley Karate Tournament. Good to see the President is keeping his swat hand strong. Is anyone else bothered by the fact that CNBC is using the BREAKING NEWS graphic here, by the way? If he pointed to the camera and said, "You're next, Kim Jong Il," then maybe that would qualify. Aside from being a funny little unscripted presidential moment, who gives a damn? You guessed it. PETA. They're pissed because Obama didn't cup it in his hands and release it like a dung-eating dove. C'mon PETA, did you expect him to open negotiations or something? I'd like to take a quick moment to congratulate myself for not using the phrase "no fly zone"...you're welcome. You'd think PETA would have bigger leafy green things on its plate, what with trying to make fish cuter... This is from the PETA website:
Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks? Learn more about our ingenious campaign to save fish by changing their names.
Well, first of all, we still eat hush puppies, so I don't think a cutesy name is going to keep me from a tuna sandwich. I'm a big fan of, "our ingenious campaign to save fish by changing their names..." Howabout we change PETA's name. Would people think twice about ignoring them if they were called Self-Righteous Douche Puppets? Or maybe we can just reword everything PETA says to make it sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Not a sermon, just a hastily put together thought.
I want to remind you guys about a kick ass show this Father's Day Sunday at Union Jack's in Bethesda. Jake Young, Mike Way, Jeff Maurer, Jon Mumma, and yours truly as your host, spread the joy starting at 7:30. This show is FREE. Click here for all the deets.
See ya there...
After the interview, President Obama won the All Valley Karate Tournament. Good to see the President is keeping his swat hand strong. Is anyone else bothered by the fact that CNBC is using the BREAKING NEWS graphic here, by the way? If he pointed to the camera and said, "You're next, Kim Jong Il," then maybe that would qualify. Aside from being a funny little unscripted presidential moment, who gives a damn? You guessed it. PETA. They're pissed because Obama didn't cup it in his hands and release it like a dung-eating dove. C'mon PETA, did you expect him to open negotiations or something? I'd like to take a quick moment to congratulate myself for not using the phrase "no fly zone"...you're welcome. You'd think PETA would have bigger leafy green things on its plate, what with trying to make fish cuter... This is from the PETA website:
Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks? Learn more about our ingenious campaign to save fish by changing their names.
Well, first of all, we still eat hush puppies, so I don't think a cutesy name is going to keep me from a tuna sandwich. I'm a big fan of, "our ingenious campaign to save fish by changing their names..." Howabout we change PETA's name. Would people think twice about ignoring them if they were called Self-Righteous Douche Puppets? Or maybe we can just reword everything PETA says to make it sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Not a sermon, just a hastily put together thought.
I want to remind you guys about a kick ass show this Father's Day Sunday at Union Jack's in Bethesda. Jake Young, Mike Way, Jeff Maurer, Jon Mumma, and yours truly as your host, spread the joy starting at 7:30. This show is FREE. Click here for all the deets.
See ya there...
Labels: Barack Obama, comedy, fly, funny, Jared Stern, PETA, swat
posted by Jared at 9:06 PM
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