Round Up 1.3.11
Hey there, 'Redheads... First day back to work in 2011 and my goal of daily blog posts is going swimmingly so far. This will be a cheap way for you to fulfill that new year's resolution to read more while also neglecting the resolution to get more done during the day. Addition by distraction. I hope everyone bid adieu to 2010 in a rollicking fashion. My eve was spent sowing the seeds of a wicked hangover with good friends. We turned on the TV in time to see ABC wheel out Dick Clark to bum everybody out before the ball dropped. I know that New Year's Eve is his thing, but seeing him is like seeing one of those ASPCA commercials with the abused and neglected animals. We realize they mean well, but it's just depressing.
Speaking of pointlessly depressing displays, the Redskins' season is mercifully over. Just to give you an idea of how crappy the Skins were this year, even if they were in the NFC West they still wouldn't have made the playoffs. But this is the beginning of the most interesting part of any Redskin season in the last ten years, the off season. Rampant speculation about free agency and player job security is a cottage industry in DC. False hope is sold like foam fingers by this franchise. Expunge the pariah du jour and bring in another name that looked good on a fantasy team in 2005. Here's my pick to click for the playoffs. Super Bowl XLV will be a rematch of Super Bowl I: Packers vs. Chiefs. Book it.
In the waning hours of 2010, I spotted this headline on the back page of the Style section of The Washington Post:
'Octomom' eviction on hold as landlord meets with porn producer
Allow me to sum up her situation, "Let these guys in or get out." This is a convoluted Snidely Whiplash scenario. Instead of tying the damsel to the train tracks because she can't pay the mortgage, the guy twirling his mustache is paying the mortgage so the damsel can have a train run on her. It's mildly ironic, considering how many kids she's evicted. All that's left is to figure out the title of her porn debut. Eight Isn't Enough, Octopussy, and Cockto Mom are all possibilities. Stay classy, Nadya...
Some sad news this morning as actor, Pete Postlethwaite, lost his battle with cancer. One of the best nebulous accents in showbiz. If you don't know the name, you definitely know the face and the voice, recently in The Town and Inception, best known for his role in The Usual Suspects. Mr. Kobayashi, we hardly knew ye...
By the way, if anyone out there is looking to move to or near downtown Silver Spring, please to check out this listing of the former Stately Stern Manor.
To be continued...
Speaking of pointlessly depressing displays, the Redskins' season is mercifully over. Just to give you an idea of how crappy the Skins were this year, even if they were in the NFC West they still wouldn't have made the playoffs. But this is the beginning of the most interesting part of any Redskin season in the last ten years, the off season. Rampant speculation about free agency and player job security is a cottage industry in DC. False hope is sold like foam fingers by this franchise. Expunge the pariah du jour and bring in another name that looked good on a fantasy team in 2005. Here's my pick to click for the playoffs. Super Bowl XLV will be a rematch of Super Bowl I: Packers vs. Chiefs. Book it.
In the waning hours of 2010, I spotted this headline on the back page of the Style section of The Washington Post:
'Octomom' eviction on hold as landlord meets with porn producer
Allow me to sum up her situation, "Let these guys in or get out." This is a convoluted Snidely Whiplash scenario. Instead of tying the damsel to the train tracks because she can't pay the mortgage, the guy twirling his mustache is paying the mortgage so the damsel can have a train run on her. It's mildly ironic, considering how many kids she's evicted. All that's left is to figure out the title of her porn debut. Eight Isn't Enough, Octopussy, and Cockto Mom are all possibilities. Stay classy, Nadya...
Some sad news this morning as actor, Pete Postlethwaite, lost his battle with cancer. One of the best nebulous accents in showbiz. If you don't know the name, you definitely know the face and the voice, recently in The Town and Inception, best known for his role in The Usual Suspects. Mr. Kobayashi, we hardly knew ye...
By the way, if anyone out there is looking to move to or near downtown Silver Spring, please to check out this listing of the former Stately Stern Manor.
To be continued...
Labels: 2011, comedy, Dick Clark, funny, Jared Stern, New Year's Eve, octomom, Pete Postlethwaite
posted by Jared at 8:21 AM
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