I Is, Therefore I Am...

Hey there, 'Redheads... It's Friday, it's Blogust, and I'm bored at work. So, why not wring some self-importance out of the spongy mass that does my thinking for me? This installment is a string of my favorite status updates from Facebook over the last month or so... I know, try to control yourselves. Some of these actually meet this blog's standards of mild amusement. After you get done, I promise to have a couple videos and pictures to make up for that time you'll never get back. So, put on your water wings, strap on your goggles, and take a dip in Lake Me...

Jared Stern started the day with toast... It may well be all downhill from here...

Jared Stern hopes Twitter gets back online, so I can resume not giving a shit...

Jared Stern bought the audio book for the Yellow Pages... Turns out, I really can listen to Morgan Freeman read the phone book...

Jared Stern is going to hit Rock Bottom tonight... The bar, not the figurative personal abyss...

Jared Stern thinks Victoria's Secret should help the ladies during the economic slide and come out with a Financial Support Bra...

Jared Stern would like very much for the person who has my voodoo doll to stop with the poking... Thanks.

Jared Stern found out that today is National Tequila Day... Which makes tomorrow National Day of Regret...

Jared Stern heard some pundit say that health care reform could be Obama's Waterloo, and now I have the chorus of that goddamn ABBA song stuck in my head...

Jared Stern suffers from Occasional Fatigue Syndrome...

Jared Stern came very close to committing seppuku with a golf pencil at trivia tonight, but our team roared back to win and dishonor was averted...

Jared Stern can't get no statusfaction...

Jared Stern is drifting off into the black sleep of Kali Ma known as Zyrtec...

Jared Stern gained superhuman quickness when I realized my car might've been towed... Luckily, it wasn't... Back to sloth mode...

Jared Stern forgot to read the instructions before I went to bed... My mattress has the sleep number of the beast...

Jared Stern isn't sure... I'm either wishing I was asleep or dreaming that I'm awake...

See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?

A note to all of you hacks out there who insist on doing a Bill Cosby impression in your act, and think all it takes is mentioning a pudding pop. This is how it's done...

That's comedy buddy, Danny Rouhier on the radio with Joe Robinson and Mike Aronin. Note that aside from a question addressed to him, there is no mention of Jell-O pudding in the 4+ minutes of spot-on Cosby. He could host Picture Pages with that impression. So, unless you're that good, maybe it's time to drop Coz from the repertoire...and ixnay on the Ocidile-cray Unter-hay, while you're at it.

Add another clip to the In Memoriam montage at this year's Oscars... Director John Hughes died of a heart attack yesterday while on a walk in New York. Walking. The silent killer. Like everyone else in my age bracket, his movies were an integral part of our teen angst-riddled 80's upbringing. Weird Science and Ferris Beuller's Day Off are two of my personal favorites. Mr. Hughes, we won't...forget about you...

To be continued...