Monday, January 22, 2007

The Good, the Odd, and the Ugly

Hey there 'Redheads... This installment contains good news, odd news, and I'm pretty sure definitive proof that YouTube will one day become sentient and destroy us as we happily stream videos of the apocalypse. The good news first. Shooting for GUYS WATCHING 24 II wrapped on Sunday. Six hours of some silly silly stuff is being carefully edited and whittled down to bring you a concentrated chunk of hopefully hilarious spoofage. One thing I can promise you: bad acting, over-acting, and bad over-acting...technically that was three things, but you get the idea. It'll be posted for human consumption in the next day or so and, when it is, you'll be able to find it right here.
Speaking of 24, I had suspended my disbelief for the first 4 hours of the show, but tonight I had to grab the step ladder, the laser level, and the duct tape so I could remount it a couple feet higher, because I damn near leapt up to embrace it when they revealed that the bald, beaty-eyed guy from last season (aka former RoboCop cast member #3) is Jack's brother. Really? And I'm supposed to believe uber bad-ass, Jack Bauer is related to a guy named Graham? The only thing that kind of calmed me down was the discovery that Graham's wife is being played by the lovely Rena Sofer, owner of the most beautiful set of peepers I've ever seen.
Three words: yowza yowza yowza

She's popped up in a bunch of short-lived, ill-fated series, so it's very nice to see she's found work on show with some legs. Now that I've typed this, she'll probably have a suitcase nuke go off in her sock drawer next week.

Ok, on to the odd news:
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Jan. 22) - After a long day hunting, there's nothing like wrapping your paw around a cold bottle of beer. So Terrie Berenden, a pet shop owner in the southern Dutch town of Zelhem, created a beer for her Weimaraners made from beef extract and malt.
Beer. For dogs. Somebody re-animate the corpse of Spuds McKenzie. Doesn't this Dutch putz realize that giving dogs beer only gives them an excuse for pissing on the rug?I don't even want to contemplate the 48 step programs that this witch's brew will spawn. If you don't think dog beer is a bad idea, I've got three words for you: dog beer goggles. Fido'll get drunk on dog beer, go to the corner hydrant to sniff some butts, think he's humping Lassie, and wake up next to this...
Wow, somebody actually did re-animate Spuds McKenzie

And now, I give you empirical evidence that YouTube is lulling us into a mushy-brained stupor, so it may one day turn the planet into an infinite loop of shitty video clips. I give you the following seemingly innocuous clip of a hot girl singing the song, "Heaven"...and response clips that it begat. May god have mercy on our souls...

To be continued...


Blogger Dave said...

Howdy, Jared. I can virtually guarantee you don't remember me - this is Dave Berman, a fellow SHS'er. I can't even remember how I found your blog, but I do stop by from time to time and find it quite entertaining, which is nice, because I imagine that's the whole point.

I'm not one for blogwhoring, but your constant "24" references have weakened my resolve: I was unable to continue to watch "24" without commenting on the increasing preposterousness, so I started 24 Stupidity. Figured you might enjoy it.

At any rate, keep up the good work.

2:16 PM  

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