Friday, December 16, 2005

Frightful...Delightful

I don't have much to write in this post. I'll come right out and admit that. Thursday night's weather was just one step shy of a plague...frogs, boils, frozen rain, and shitty traffic. Usually, when faced with weather that drains the IQ's of my fellow drivers to the point that Melwood tells them to keep their cars, I just stay indoors. But, my friends at the Baltimore Comedy Factory called me to fill in as the feature for Brad Trackman. If I'm getting paid to brave the elements, I will thumb my nose at Mother Nature in favor of the green. Comedy crowds, however, do not share the same disregard for their safety and comfort for the sake of laughter. A grand total of 20 people showed up. Luckily, they were willing to let loose and enjoy themselves out loud. A good time was had by all. Hence, the blog's title...thematic, ain't it?

This little nugget caught my eye yesterday:
CHARDON, Ohio (AP) — A 75-year-old Amish widower, afraid his church community would find out about him seeking sex from a prostitute, was scammed out of more than $67,000 from the prostitute and her boyfriend, a prosecutor says. Jake Byler of Burton Township gave the pair the money because they had convinced him that photos of Byler and the prostitute would appear on the Internet, county prosecutor David Joyce said.

Are ya kidding me? The prostitute tried to blackmail a 75 year old AMISH guy with the INTERNET. Maybe if she posted the pictures on the side of a grain silo, these threats would carry some weight. You show me an Amish guy with internet access, and I'll show you an Orthodox Jewish Girls Gone Wild video (These girls LOVE BACON!!). The guy probably got spooked when he found out about the pictures because he thought a piece of his soul was taken by the camera. Can I get a witness? What's the world coming to, when a simple lonely Amish guy can't get his butter churned and his barn raised during the holidays without getting jacked by a ho ho ho with a hidden camera and a cable modem...? We're spiraling downward, people.


To be continued...

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